Mini Me

When she was younger, Tae was very much like her father both in look and personality. I found this very strange since he was not part of her life for very long. It definitely makes you think about the nature vs nurture aspect with regards to behaviour. You always assume a child picks up certain traits from observing them but when she has a personality of someone who is not around in her formative years, you do wonder where it comes from.
Looks, of course, are part of the genetic lottery and you do expect a mix of both mother and father.

As she is getting older though, she is more and more like me. This is both in look and personality. She looks so much like me that anyone would have thought I had merely cloned myself. I think she will always be petite in stature, although certainly not in personality. She is a lot more outgoing than me. This is definitely my husband’s influence. As is her love for drawing and painting. I’m not artistic but she is enjoying it a lot. She prefers bright and warm, which are E’s favourites too. She loves to read and learn, and these she has definitely inherited from me and I am very pleased with. She loves pirates and flowers and unicorns, she enjoys dressing up and playing pretend, she loves music and she loves to dance. Sadly, like me, she is not very co-ordinated and her dancing lacks finesse. She make up for it in enthusiasm though, just like me.

It is very strange watching this small person grow and develop and become her own person, yet be so similar to me in so many ways.


overheard at our house this weekend

“did you buy cookie dough? if you didn’t buy any we can use tortillas. and we can put sprinkles on the tortillas.”

“if you need to check the weather, we can use your ipod.” (i mentioned to her that we could also look out the window.)

“RRRR. i’m a pirate!” (she had one foot stuck in a plastic cup.)


i’m at a loss here for what to do.

on the weekends, tae doesn’t like to go out. she prefers to stay home and hang out with me. for the past three weekends, we have gone out in the car exactly TWO times. she is ok with walking to gymnastics and going to get coffee, but other than that, she apparently loathes going out. she has me only slightly wrapped around her little finger – what am i supposed to do when she says, “i just want to stay here and hang out with you because i looove you!”

so that’s the first problem – i don’t know how to get her out of the house on the weekends. my hunch is that i need to plan ahead more, build in more routines – since she is fine going to gymnastics on sundays, and she is fine leaving the house during the week.

here’s the second problem – she doesn’t nap. she has never really napped without going out in the car or in the stroller. so yesterday, after giving her 30 minutes to mentally prepare, we left for the grocery store. and as we drove home, she started to zone out, and by the time we got home at 4pm, she was conked out.

napping at 4pm is always kind of awkward, so i decided to give it a shot and tried to wake her up at 6pm. i offered her snacks, playing, music, everything… and she just faded right back to sleep, and finally asked for her pajamas at 7:30pm.

this was not a good sign. i got in bed around 10:30pm, anticipating an early morning. but nothing could have prepared me for what happened at 2:45am. 2:45am (mind you, this is after she had me up fetching her food between 1:30am and 2:30am – this is always a precursor to waking up for her.)

“mommy, i want to get up. mommy, come play!”

next, i feel little hands under my neck and back – she was trying to physically lift me up. next, she is smothering me with kisses. “mommy, it’s wake up time.”

that was at 3:00am. she read to her self for about 20 minutes (oh the irony, in my semi-delusional state, i heard her reciting “don’t let the pigeon stay up late!”), and then played around with my ipod for another 10. and at 3:30am, she was up, and i was up.

after playing for 4 hours, she was ready to go to school at 7:30am. her teacher was a little surprised to see us, since we typically arrive at like 9:00am.

i am so wide awake now, but we’ll see how i am at 3pm. YAWN.

living together

it’s shocking to see tae grow up before my eyes – she has such a grasp now on abstract concepts. kinda.

today in the car:

tae: “K and B live together. they are friends.”
me: “that’s right, they do live together and they are friends.”
tae: “mommy and tae live together. they are family.”
me: “yup, we are family.”
tae: “and we love each other.”

then she proceeded at ask me about where i lived when i was little (did you live with gi-gi and pop-pop when you were little?) i told her i did.

then she asks, “and then you got big you came back to tae and i was alone in boston?”

growing pains

or maybe rather, I should say, ungrowing pains.

in the fall, when tae had her three year check up, her doctor was concerned about her height and weight. friday, we had our follow up visit. i actually saw the words written out on some of the lab work tae had done, “FAILURE TO THRIVE.”

um, ok. i think she’s thriving. she’s energetic, she’s learning, she’s active, she’s engaged with the world. she’s just not big. yesterday, she came in in the 7th percentile for height (35.5 in) and 1st percentile for weight (24.1 lbs). apparently, she’s not keeping up with the “charts” she’s even lower or all the charts than 3 months ago, especially on the body mass index scale.

mostly, i’m not worried. she’s a picky eater. she’s the same size i was at that age. i’m not a huge person. her dad is not a huge person.

but, to be safe, she had tons and tons of blood taken, and ever since then she’s been on edge. she still has the band-aid with the gauze on it stuck to her arm – she won’t let me take it off. she walks about like her arm has been mortally injured. not to mention that she still has a band-aid on her thigh – there is no boo-boo there except for the rash from keeping the band-aid on too long.

last night as she slept, i tried to pull off the stupid band-aids, after dousing them in baby oil. in the middle of the operation, eyes closed, tae says, “don’t touch my boo-boo. just look at it.” i failed at removing the band-aids. why do they stick so well and for so long?

then at 2am when she woke up hungry last night, she told me that she couldn’t hold her sippy cup because she had a boo-boo. she asked me to feed her and i nearly lost it. at least she has some common sense because when she woke up at 4am, she asked for her smoothie in a bottle, which is thinner so she could hold it with one hand.

boston and busy-ness

i’m happy that tae is growing up in boston. i love that she points out the charles river. i love that every morning when we drive to school, she exclaims, “what’s coming up?… it’s the boston red sox!” (as we glimpse fenway park on the drive in to work.)

right now, i am most glad that we’re in boston because we’re close to gi-gi and pop-pop. my job title just officially changed over to “acting director.” which means that i’m doing my old job and my old boss’s job all at once. (yet i’m not being paid two salaries. hmm.) and managing a toddler. and trying to maintain some semblance of a normal adult life. and so, without gi-gi and pop-pop and the rest of my support network here in boston, i wouldn’t be able to do it.

if i had a dollar for every time someone called me super woman for managing all that i try to manage, i could send tae to college for free. i don’t like being called super woman, because i’m not. i just have amazing friends and family, an amazing daughter, and a career that sustains me. and it is those things that give me the strength to do all the things that i do.

shoot me now, please

two nights ago, tae went to bed at 7pm and woke up at 8am. except that she was up from 2am to 4am playing, reading, drinking smoothies, trying to get me to play with her. all. night. long.

last night, when she fell asleep in the car at 5:30pm, i knew i was in trouble. she slept wonderfully, until 2:30am. and that’s it. luckily, i get to spend my entire day today with her. so i’m not expected to be in any human form.

i miss the days of regular napping.