When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done

I quickly wanted to say no until I thought about it. I don’t know if my time ended right now that I’ve done more than I said. Or should I say, I talked about doing things more than I actually did do things. It’s mainly because I seek comfort and predictability. Though I want to be successful, I find myself some times nervous or concerned about taking that chance. Especially after I’ve been burned a few times (very few, but still.)

I think I get too caught up in the dreaming of what could have happen. I find myself dreaming and fearing about the best and the worst things that could happen. I get lost in my head sometimes. Well a lot.

If I’m blessed to get more time on this earth, I will accomplish more than I dreamt or talked about. But I’m going to have to come up with some goal oriented ways of doing more.

One way of doing this is to put more focus on getting what I want. I know what and where I want to be. I shouldn’t be focused on staying comfortable or secure I’m there. So every step I take forward from here on out needs to get me closer to being there.

Another way is to always take a chance a risk. I believe doing nothing is a risk. But you have to take a chance to improve yourself. You might fail, yes. But you might succeed. And if you can learn from your mistakes, it’s only a matter of time before you do succeed.

Lastly, I have to never settle with being comfortable. This is a lot like taking risk. I admit I could get really relaxed and find reasons to stay where I am. Or I’ll get frustrated in the search for “stability.” I have to remind myself that nothing in my life has been “stable.” Sure I’ve had long periods of time with predictable and no drama. Those times had little or not growth either.

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If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

The first and most obvious reason why we do things we don’t like is responsibility, and responsibility is quickly followed by necessity. More often than not the obligations and commitments that come with responsibility are not fun or something anyone likes to do, but they are a necessary part of survival. Necessity and responsibility are the foundation for sustainability and growth; if there is no regard for the latter, self preservation and survival are virtually impossible.

In a world where nothing is free or handed to us it takes work to survive. The more effort and time that must go into maintaining survival means less time available to be spent on doing the things we actually enjoy doing.

Almost all of the wonderful things we would prefer to be doing at any given moment cost money. In order to do these things, we must not only be able to afford to do them, but be able to afford the time it takes to do them. Usually that means doing things we would prefer not to do, in exchange for the compensation and freedom required to do the things we want to do.

The system was built around the idea that, for the masses, the cost of living and the cost of doing the things we want to do, will always be greater than the rewards for doing the things we would rather not do. This ever growing disparity ensures most of us will spend the majority of our time consumed by things we would otherwise not do, just to survive. In order to do each and every thing, beyond survival, that we would like to do, it requires us to sacrifice even more time doing undesirable things. This creates a self sustaining cycle that is virtually unbreakable.

It’s easy to see how this cycle can lead to the procrastination of the things we want to do most in life to an undetermined time in a better future. A future where we have already been rewarded for sacrificing our time.

Unfortunately, for most people that day never comes

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

As well as being one of the 50 Questions That Will Free You Mind which I plab to answer as part of my 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge, this is something I have talked about many times with Tae.

I am sure most of us have the answer to this question within us. Definitely never trying is worse than failing. We do so many things throughout our lives. We take up a number of initiatives, a number of tasks. There are so many opportunities that knock our door. We give a try to some of them, we fail in some and we even succeed in some.

We all want to succeed in our lives, in our endeavors. And we succeed only when we understand the case scenario completely. Failure should be seen as an opportunity to understand, to learn, to grow. And you can fail only when you give a try. Many details are so minute that you come to know only when you analyze the reasons for your failure. Hence, failure here becomes your answer to how you can win and again, to find this answer to your success, you need to TRY.

Those who are not trying are actually stopping themselves from exploring their own potential and capabilities. When you try, you understand the areas on which you need to work on. You understand the areas which are your strong points. Using these strong points and skills, you can achieve great heights in any task. Also, when you try you understand your weaknesses and I need not explain that you can work upon your weakness only when you actually know that you have such a weakness and that can be known only by TRYING.

Thus the conclusion and answer to this question is that Never Trying is Worse Than Failing. It is because by not giving a try, you are creating a boundary for yourselves by not letting yourself to explore your potential. Failing is a good thing as it helps you find the answer or the reasons to your failure and that will not only help you succeed in that particular task but also prevents such failures in future. Also, when you fail, you try out a number of other options to succeed. And exploring those other options is in turn a learning process.

Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size

Prince may have said it best, but it’s a sentiment many of us can relate to – Act your age, not your shoe size. Lately, in the rush to proclaim 40 as the new 30 – or even 25 – we’ve noticed a trend of 40 year old women who seem, frankly, afraid to grow up. While the phenomenon is most clearly evident in celebrities whose attire, song lyrics and on-stage movements mimic those of pubescent teens, it’s evident in everyday life as well.

I see it in the cliquey group of friends who brag about who they’re wearing and what they’re driving in the never ending effort to best their own circle of friends. It’s evident in discussions about relationships that sound like they’re being had by naive 16 year olds, not 40 year olds who’ve been around the block a few times. And it’s hinted at in conversations that center around who likes who and who’s not our friend anymore (insert pouted lip visual here.) Life, relationships and our own insecurities are difficult to navigate for sure, but at some point, it really is OK to grow up.

We’re all for working it at 40. There’s something to be said about a woman confident enough to show her curves and strut her stuff on stage and otherwise. But at what age does it become ok to put our intelligence, wisdom and charm on display more than your… other assets? In a society where sex sells, at 40 aren’t we old enough to stop buying?

Knitting

I have always been very jealous of people who can make things with their hands, people who can crochet and sew and most of all people who can knit. It’s one of those things I have always wanted to be able to do.

My Mǔqīn has tried to teach me many times since I was a child but either she is not a very good teacher or I am a poor student of the craft because I have not yet been able to master this skill. So many people make so many beautiful items and leave me in awe of their abilities.

I have tried learning from other people on campus. I have tried many many books from the library. I am still unable to knit.

I am going to have one last attempt at learning before completing abandoning this as something I simply cannot do. And I am going to use youtube. I have found many instructional videos and last night I was able to successfully cast on. This may not seem like a huge achievement but being able to do it myself without any assistance from another person made me feel I was on top of the world!

Must be doin’ somethin’ right

I’ve always been very fortunate to be confident in myself, in my identity, in knowing who I am, to be able to know what it is that I love. And to not be ashamed or embarassed by it.

I love to learn. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a class, if I sit in on a lecture, if I read a book or watch a youtube video, or even just watch a quiz show on TV… learn something new every day goes the saying and that’s something I fully believe in.

I’m also lucky enough to work in the education field, to work with bright, inquisitive minds that also want to learn. I’m blessed to be able to help guide these young people, to help them find their way and their passion.

I’m one of those frustratingly annoying people (This is what E tells me) who gets up early and jumps out of bed, excited to go to work. I probably put in more hours than the average person, but it’s so easy to do because the work day just zooms right by. I happily lose track of the world and time, losing myself in the task at hand.

Work is not work as many people refer to it, but something that is fun and interesting and exciting. It’s not just a job to me but a passion.

A fresh start

Things are starting to take shape around here. Here being this little spot of cyberspace I call my own.

I’ve found a layout I’m happy with. It’s nothing fancy but it’s clean and clear and in my favourite colours so that’s always good.

I’ve written an ‘about me’ page that I’m happy with and I think does a good job of representing who I am and why I’m here.
But please do tell me what you think.

I’ve finally got round to make that 101 Things In 1001 Days list. That was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Again, I’m quite happy with the challenge going forwards.
I’ve even made a start on item #1 ‘donate blood’ and have an appointment to do so on March 10th. Yikes!

Next to do is sort through my previously joined fanlistings but that will have to wait until I have a free Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Maybe this weekend, I don’t think I have plans.

I’m definitely very excited to get this blog moving forward again over the next few days/weeks/months! 🙂