Mini Me

When she was younger, Tae was very much like her father both in look and personality. I found this very strange since he was not part of her life for very long. It definitely makes you think about the nature vs nurture aspect with regards to behaviour. You always assume a child picks up certain traits from observing them but when she has a personality of someone who is not around in her formative years, you do wonder where it comes from.
Looks, of course, are part of the genetic lottery and you do expect a mix of both mother and father.

As she is getting older though, she is more and more like me. This is both in look and personality. She looks so much like me that anyone would have thought I had merely cloned myself. I think she will always be petite in stature, although certainly not in personality. She is a lot more outgoing than me. This is definitely my husband’s influence. As is her love for drawing and painting. I’m not artistic but she is enjoying it a lot. She prefers bright and warm, which are E’s favourites too. She loves to read and learn, and these she has definitely inherited from me and I am very pleased with. She loves pirates and flowers and unicorns, she enjoys dressing up and playing pretend, she loves music and she loves to dance. Sadly, like me, she is not very co-ordinated and her dancing lacks finesse. She make up for it in enthusiasm though, just like me.

It is very strange watching this small person grow and develop and become her own person, yet be so similar to me in so many ways.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done

I quickly wanted to say no until I thought about it. I don’t know if my time ended right now that I’ve done more than I said. Or should I say, I talked about doing things more than I actually did do things. It’s mainly because I seek comfort and predictability. Though I want to be successful, I find myself some times nervous or concerned about taking that chance. Especially after I’ve been burned a few times (very few, but still.)

I think I get too caught up in the dreaming of what could have happen. I find myself dreaming and fearing about the best and the worst things that could happen. I get lost in my head sometimes. Well a lot.

If I’m blessed to get more time on this earth, I will accomplish more than I dreamt or talked about. But I’m going to have to come up with some goal oriented ways of doing more.

One way of doing this is to put more focus on getting what I want. I know what and where I want to be. I shouldn’t be focused on staying comfortable or secure I’m there. So every step I take forward from here on out needs to get me closer to being there.

Another way is to always take a chance a risk. I believe doing nothing is a risk. But you have to take a chance to improve yourself. You might fail, yes. But you might succeed. And if you can learn from your mistakes, it’s only a matter of time before you do succeed.

Lastly, I have to never settle with being comfortable. This is a lot like taking risk. I admit I could get really relaxed and find reasons to stay where I am. Or I’ll get frustrated in the search for “stability.” I have to remind myself that nothing in my life has been “stable.” Sure I’ve had long periods of time with predictable and no drama. Those times had little or not growth either.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

As well as being one of the 50 Questions That Will Free You Mind which I plab to answer as part of my 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge, this is something I have talked about many times with Tae.

I am sure most of us have the answer to this question within us. Definitely never trying is worse than failing. We do so many things throughout our lives. We take up a number of initiatives, a number of tasks. There are so many opportunities that knock our door. We give a try to some of them, we fail in some and we even succeed in some.

We all want to succeed in our lives, in our endeavors. And we succeed only when we understand the case scenario completely. Failure should be seen as an opportunity to understand, to learn, to grow. And you can fail only when you give a try. Many details are so minute that you come to know only when you analyze the reasons for your failure. Hence, failure here becomes your answer to how you can win and again, to find this answer to your success, you need to TRY.

Those who are not trying are actually stopping themselves from exploring their own potential and capabilities. When you try, you understand the areas on which you need to work on. You understand the areas which are your strong points. Using these strong points and skills, you can achieve great heights in any task. Also, when you try you understand your weaknesses and I need not explain that you can work upon your weakness only when you actually know that you have such a weakness and that can be known only by TRYING.

Thus the conclusion and answer to this question is that Never Trying is Worse Than Failing. It is because by not giving a try, you are creating a boundary for yourselves by not letting yourself to explore your potential. Failing is a good thing as it helps you find the answer or the reasons to your failure and that will not only help you succeed in that particular task but also prevents such failures in future. Also, when you fail, you try out a number of other options to succeed. And exploring those other options is in turn a learning process.

Must be doin’ somethin’ right

I’ve always been very fortunate to be confident in myself, in my identity, in knowing who I am, to be able to know what it is that I love. And to not be ashamed or embarassed by it.

I love to learn. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a class, if I sit in on a lecture, if I read a book or watch a youtube video, or even just watch a quiz show on TV… learn something new every day goes the saying and that’s something I fully believe in.

I’m also lucky enough to work in the education field, to work with bright, inquisitive minds that also want to learn. I’m blessed to be able to help guide these young people, to help them find their way and their passion.

I’m one of those frustratingly annoying people (This is what E tells me) who gets up early and jumps out of bed, excited to go to work. I probably put in more hours than the average person, but it’s so easy to do because the work day just zooms right by. I happily lose track of the world and time, losing myself in the task at hand.

Work is not work as many people refer to it, but something that is fun and interesting and exciting. It’s not just a job to me but a passion.

overheard at our house this weekend

“did you buy cookie dough? if you didn’t buy any we can use tortillas. and we can put sprinkles on the tortillas.”

“if you need to check the weather, we can use your ipod.” (i mentioned to her that we could also look out the window.)

“RRRR. i’m a pirate!” (she had one foot stuck in a plastic cup.)

living together

it’s shocking to see tae grow up before my eyes – she has such a grasp now on abstract concepts. kinda.

today in the car:

tae: “K and B live together. they are friends.”
me: “that’s right, they do live together and they are friends.”
tae: “mommy and tae live together. they are family.”
me: “yup, we are family.”
tae: “and we love each other.”

then she proceeded at ask me about where i lived when i was little (did you live with gi-gi and pop-pop when you were little?) i told her i did.

then she asks, “and then you got big you came back to tae and i was alone in boston?”