I forget sometimes how much I enjoy a little peace and quiet. Having the house to myself and being able to completely switch off. I don’t have to be anyone other than myself. I don’t have to be mommmy, I don’t have to be a wife and I’m treating myself with a day off so I’m literally just doing nothing and being myself.
E has taken Tae into the city for an Easter Egg Hunt. She was very excited. There’s also an Easter Bonnet competition that she has an entry for. I’ve been feeling like I’m coming down with a cold so have chosen to stay at home. I’ll miss taking part in the festivities but at the same time will be thoroughly enjoying some alone time.
I’m curled up on the couch, a steaming mug of cinnamon-y coffee and a plate of grilled cheese for breakfast. I have a book next to me, the newspaper and Kenny Chesney is singing to me. I have a solitaire game loaded up on my computer. I’m wearing my warm onesie and my fluffy slippers.
Peace. Quiet. Alone Time.
With all the atrocities happening in the world around us, sometimes it’s easy to get bogged down in the fear, the anger, the hatred, the uncertainty. To get so lost in others pain. Sometimes it’s important to keep things in perspective.
I won’t go to sleep hungry tonight.
I won’t go to sleep outside tonight.
I had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.
I have access to clean drinking water.
I have access to medical care.
I have access to the Internet.
I am literate and numerate.
I have the right to vote.
I have family who love me
These all seem such simple things but there are people out there who have nothing, who would give everything for just one of those things. I need to take a step back and realise that really, I am blessed.
The first and most obvious reason why we do things we don’t like is responsibility, and responsibility is quickly followed by necessity. More often than not the obligations and commitments that come with responsibility are not fun or something anyone likes to do, but they are a necessary part of survival. Necessity and responsibility are the foundation for sustainability and growth; if there is no regard for the latter, self preservation and survival are virtually impossible.
In a world where nothing is free or handed to us it takes work to survive. The more effort and time that must go into maintaining survival means less time available to be spent on doing the things we actually enjoy doing.
Almost all of the wonderful things we would prefer to be doing at any given moment cost money. In order to do these things, we must not only be able to afford to do them, but be able to afford the time it takes to do them. Usually that means doing things we would prefer not to do, in exchange for the compensation and freedom required to do the things we want to do.
The system was built around the idea that, for the masses, the cost of living and the cost of doing the things we want to do, will always be greater than the rewards for doing the things we would rather not do. This ever growing disparity ensures most of us will spend the majority of our time consumed by things we would otherwise not do, just to survive. In order to do each and every thing, beyond survival, that we would like to do, it requires us to sacrifice even more time doing undesirable things. This creates a self sustaining cycle that is virtually unbreakable.
It’s easy to see how this cycle can lead to the procrastination of the things we want to do most in life to an undetermined time in a better future. A future where we have already been rewarded for sacrificing our time.
Unfortunately, for most people that day never comes
Prince may have said it best, but it’s a sentiment many of us can relate to – Act your age, not your shoe size. Lately, in the rush to proclaim 40 as the new 30 – or even 25 – we’ve noticed a trend of 40 year old women who seem, frankly, afraid to grow up. While the phenomenon is most clearly evident in celebrities whose attire, song lyrics and on-stage movements mimic those of pubescent teens, it’s evident in everyday life as well.
I see it in the cliquey group of friends who brag about who they’re wearing and what they’re driving in the never ending effort to best their own circle of friends. It’s evident in discussions about relationships that sound like they’re being had by naive 16 year olds, not 40 year olds who’ve been around the block a few times. And it’s hinted at in conversations that center around who likes who and who’s not our friend anymore (insert pouted lip visual here.) Life, relationships and our own insecurities are difficult to navigate for sure, but at some point, it really is OK to grow up.
We’re all for working it at 40. There’s something to be said about a woman confident enough to show her curves and strut her stuff on stage and otherwise. But at what age does it become ok to put our intelligence, wisdom and charm on display more than your… other assets? In a society where sex sells, at 40 aren’t we old enough to stop buying?
I’ve always been very fortunate to be confident in myself, in my identity, in knowing who I am, to be able to know what it is that I love. And to not be ashamed or embarassed by it.
I love to learn. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a class, if I sit in on a lecture, if I read a book or watch a youtube video, or even just watch a quiz show on TV… learn something new every day goes the saying and that’s something I fully believe in.
I’m also lucky enough to work in the education field, to work with bright, inquisitive minds that also want to learn. I’m blessed to be able to help guide these young people, to help them find their way and their passion.
I’m one of those frustratingly annoying people (This is what E tells me) who gets up early and jumps out of bed, excited to go to work. I probably put in more hours than the average person, but it’s so easy to do because the work day just zooms right by. I happily lose track of the world and time, losing myself in the task at hand.
Work is not work as many people refer to it, but something that is fun and interesting and exciting. It’s not just a job to me but a passion.
A long lost blogger reappears
Apparently I haven’t blogged here since April 2011. That’s almost 5 years. FIVE YEARS! Where has the time gone?
I’m not entirely sure what happened, other than life.
So much has changed and yet at the same time everything is exactly the same.
Tae is now an exhuberant eight-year-old who loves to help people, is obsessed with pirates and flowers and unicorns. She loves to dance and has taken after me with a love for country music. We’re starting country music dancing lessons next month.
She is still the light of my life.
I’m now married to a wonderful man who shall be referred to here as E – he has asked that I not talk about him on my blog and I shall respect that. We’ve been married since September 2015.
We still live in Acton, MA. We’ve moved from our apartment to a house with a garden and I’ve discovered a love for gardening. I still work in education and am passionate about equality. I’m still involved in mentoring. I’m still in love with learning. I don’t actually think it’s possible for any of these to change.
I thought about deleting all the old blog posts and just starting from scratch but then I don’t want to lose some of those memories I’ve posted. So I’m leaving them there.
I have a new layout and a new about me page.
I’ve got rid of the blogthings page. I still love taking those silly random quizzes but don’t think they need to have their own page.
I need to go through those fanlistings, update links, delete anything that’s invalid.
I need to actually post those 101 Things. I’ve signed up at Day Zero Project
I’m thinking of adding pages for book reviews and recipes.
I think that’s enough for my first update back. I’m excited to get this site back up and running, start blogging on a semi-regular basis and actually see what happens from here on in!